Tag: Tim Pope

MH Look, look, all I wanna know is one thing.

TP: yup?

MH: How come you get the camera and I don’t, right?

Tp: It’s because I’m the director, ain’t I.

MH: How come I have to do all the talking?

TP: I’ve had enough. I’ve had enough.

MH: I’ve had enough! I am going back to that spaceship, right? You stay here if you want, I don’t care, right.

TP. I’m going back to that spaceship, I’ve had enough of this. I’ve had enough, I’ve had enough. (Hands camera back to cameraman) …. Blimey it’s weird here. This is weird.

MH: You’re rubbish on that camera! You’re absolute rubbish on that camera.

TP: Oi! You can’t say that!

MH: Shall I tell you why?

TP: Why?

MH: Because the next videoclip is called –

TP: Dodgy link!

MH: what a terrible cue. (Looks in monitor and smooths his hair) blimey, who’s

that, Clark Gable?

(Video plays)

TP: Blimey it’s a bid odd in here innit? I mean I thought all that camera stuff was very funny, but after a while it got, you know, it got –

MH: A bit tedious

TP: It got a bit weird, a bit structuralist.

MH: What I think is, it got a bit tedious, but even more than that, you know, I think people out there wanna hear me speak, so if I could just get another couple of words in…as I was saying earlier, there are two types of actors, there are good actors and there are great actors, but there are also two types of men,  there are men that like girls and there are men that like other men, and this is my way of introducing the next clip which is by a band called – (TP waves his hand in front of the camera, MH laughs)

TP: okay, cut! Cut! Cut it!

MH: -Queen, and it’s called it’s a hard life. Bit dubious.

(Video plays)

MH: oh blimey.

TP: More space cola? More Space cola?

MH: (makes noise of phone ringing)

TP: Who’s that then?

MH: we’re at the dodgy part of the show. This is where we have to start relying on props.

TP: Who’s that?

MH (answering phone) ‘Allo?  (Hands phone to TP) Freddie.

TP: (whispers) oh fuck. What shall I say?

MH: Tell ‘im he looked fabulous.

TP: (talking into phone) no, honestly you were great, no, honestly. … Well, it was nothing to do with me. No? Yeah of course you can, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he is beautiful. Here he is. (Hands phone back to MH)

MH: (talking into phone) Hello, Freddie? Yeah, you looked great, man. You looked  fabulous, the outfit was stunning. Yeah, yeah. Okay then. Bout half past seven, allright?

TP: (to camera) he’ll see that I never work in this town again.

MH: (still talking into phone) see ya Fred. Bye.

TP: see ya Freddie. See ya everyone, see ya Paul, see ya Mark, see ya everyone. It was a beautiful show, tho. It was beautiful, it was worth it all.

MH: I tell you what, this show’s going so downhill now , right, it’s unbelievable the depths were sinking to here.

TP: yeah, I think so.

MH: About 5 minutes ago, I think it was just before that last video we had a –

TP: The funny thing is, the best bits are when the cameras aren’t going, aren’t they? Coz they’re a bit more passionate, shall we say?

MH: You say what you like! Just leave me out of it, right?

TP: You know what, I mean, they are a bit more romantic. He is (points at MH) let’s face it, very attractive.

MH: (picks up phone) Make it 8 o’clock, Freddie.  (Replaces receiver, TP laughs) dodgy jokes going all round here. Dodgy jokes all over the shop.

TP: okay I think let’s get into the next link I think, before there’s any more. What’s the next one? It’s the cure!

MH: No no, I’ve got a link for it!

TP: yeah?

MH: Don’t just blow it! Now it’s the the cure, I’ve got a link for it.

TP: I’m the straight man, I’m the straight man. He’s the bent man.

MH: I caught a disease last week.

TP: Oh yeah? Who from?

MH: Wrong answer. I said, I caught a disease last week. (Behind his hand, prompting) How’d you get rid of it?

TP: How’d you get rid of it?

MH: With The Cure

TP: (screeches with fake laughter )

(Video plays)

TP: I have always actually seen myself as a bit of a songsmith, not actually a Robert smith, but more of a song smith

MH: oh god!

TP: and I would  now like to sing you a new irritating song right, I’d like to sing you a couple of irritating songs, and the first one goes like this:

(Sings)

‘Wheel within a wheel, ever spinning round and round’

That’s like one of my favourite ones, right? But there are many others, right? Now, there’s this one:

(Sings)

‘I’m king of the road, dom dom dom…’

Now, there are many films that I would have liked to have made promos of – I won’t be working with Queen anymore , I won’t be working with The Style Council either, obviously I won’t be working with any of those people anymore, you know, I’ve gotta, like, look for people like

(Sings)

‘You say this guy, this guys in love with you do do do do you say this guy who looks at me the way you do when you smile I…’

… well, you know, that’s  allright, anyway. But what I’d like to do is look at some more really old stuff now, and this is like, a really old one, one that I’m very fond of and it’s actually a song called Tree and it goes something like this: (I want to be a tree plays, TP sings along and dances) Hey, it’s weird I feel even more like a tree here in space. (To MH) Excuse me, you do have your image to think of, unlike me (end credits roll as TP continues to dance and sing with MH laughing off camera) back to the film, back to the film, it’s a beautiful film, oh god this is really…space, the final frontier, to boldly go where every man has been before . It’s beautiful.  I’m just filling here, I’m filling, excuse me…Space cola? More space cola?

MH: How are you, allright?

(The End)

[Tim singing intro music] Anything could happen in the next 45 minutes although it probably won’t. I’ve wanted to be many things in my life, I’ve wanted to be many things, but today-

MH: You wanted to be George Best once.

TP: I did wanna be George Best, yeah, And that’s why I drink SKY COLA (holds up can) hey, hey, this is weird. This is weird.

MH: I tell ya, this is the first time in my entire life that I have been in a spaceship. It is fantastic.

TP: Watch it, we’re turning left, we’re turning left. Turning right. And speaking of turning left and turning right, this next film is “I Want to be a Tree”.

(video plays)

TP: Blimey, he’s a beautiful chick, innee? Beautiful chick.

MH: He’s in a state, that boy.

TP: Definitely. Beautiful.

MH: I tell ya. Still. I found an elephant in my bath last week.

TP: Oh, that’s a shame.

MH: Yeah.

TP: Yeah. I had my hair cut last week.

MH: Shame. Shame. Yeah. I met Hayley Mills last week.

TP: That’s a shame, blimey.

MH: I had Tony Blackburn over for dinner last night.

TP: That’s a shame. Here, blimey! I’m planting my-I made some-

MH: “Blimey” Are you English or something?

TP: I made mango jam on Sunday.

MH: Yeah I tasted some, it was really nice.

TP: Aw, that’s a shame innit? That’s a shame.

MH: Yeah…

TP:And I’m planting my herb garden this week.

MH: We’re doing a dodgy link here for the next song.

TP: Very dodgy – which is called:

MH: Such a shame.

(video plays)

TP: How are you, allright? How are you?

MH: Shall I tell you what I like about this show, above everything?

TP: Yeah?

MH: You and me are the only people who get on it.

TP: It’s beautiful.

MH: I don’t have to listen to all these –

TP: It’s weird here in space. But I’m wondering what it gonna be next, what dodgy link.

MH: We’re going into dodgy links here.

TP: it’s outer spacey.

MH: I think what we should do is come clean, right. I should just come clean with the reason why I’m working with this boy. I’m working with him because the camera is looking at me.

TP: No it aint.

MH: Blimey that’s outrageous innit?

TP: Are we into the film?

MH: oh no.

(video plays)

MH: What’s it like, working with Neil?

TP: aw, Neil. Neil was one of the boys, y’know. I was out there in LA, driving around in the old thing, you know, it was great. Actually Neil, y’know something about Neil, Neil couldn’t afford his own shirts. That’s my shirt he’s got there.

MH: That is a beautiful shirt.

TP: It is a beautiful shirt. And what’s more, this is a beautiful, listen to this: (makes weird noise while pulling up his jersey to reveal a “I want to be a tree” tshirt) this is a beautiful shirt.

MH: It’s called the Tim Pope show. This is the name of the record. (Prompting) This is the name of my video.

TP: Yeah, and this is the name of my ears.

That is a beautiful shirt I think you’ll have to agree. “I want to be a tree.” Unfortunately that’s not the next film that we’re showing. Unfortunately I forgot that one. Unfortunately this next one, I think this next one’s the creatures. You know the creatures?  strange creatures you find in outer space, weird, weird…

(video plays)

[it’s my life video plays]

MH: do you know what? I think that was the first video I ever made with you.

TP: was it?

MH: do you realise that? I’d just like to say, that was the first video that we ever made together. The thing that appealed to me when I first met Popey, was that intellectually he had about the same level as a donut. The other thing that was really good about it, ysee, was his idea for this film was around Darwin’s theory of evolution, and if anybody ever…what’s the word? If anybody ever…what the word?

TP: the word? Ahh? The word. It’s, ah…magic.

MH: oh, no. (Laughing)

TP: oi you! The one in the vest! Get off this spaceship! (Takes camera from cameraman) you get off.

(Starts filming) Now. Beautiful.

MH: as I was saying, if anybody ever disproved Darwin’s Theory of Evolution it was Popey. Because, when everybody else was queuing up for brains this boy was at the bakery queuing up for a donut. But he is a beautiful boy. And his films prove it. And this next film is called “since yesterday” and it’s by a great group- sone people would say it’s a good group but I would say it’s a great group – (checks list) strawberry…switchblade.

(video plays)

MH Fabulous. Fabulous.

TP: Actually I am feeling rather avant garde today, I am feeling rather…what I think we should talk about, is the fact that we need more god in videos. Don’t you think?We have often discussed this. We have often discussed it.

MH: Who has?

TP: well, ah, you and me.

MH: I ain’t never had a talk with you about this at all.

TP: oh, wasn’t it? Oh it must’ve been someone else then. I would definitely say…what’s the next video?

MH: Forget all that. Forget all that. All you gotta think about, right, if you wanna talk about god, let’s talk about god. It’s about time god got a bit more space on tv because there are values that should be all-important to everyone’s life, in these times, that sometimes get neglected, and I do think one of those people is god. Because god is all powerful and god should be with us. Regardless of what religion any of you people are out there, you must have an understanding of what good is and what bad is and what god is. Or, I hope so.

TP: That was beautiful, Mark, that was beautiful.

MH: this is….Kissing the pink, radio on.

TP: oh blimey I remember that one yeah.

(video plays)

[Dum Dum Girl plays in background]

MH: can I uh, can I say a few words to the camera please?

TP: yeah, do you think I should be a bit weird with this bit?

MH: No, no, I think you should let me get a few words in.

TP: right right. Go.

MH: In this world, there are good actors and there are great actors, it is very rare that people involved in music should have this ability to act as well, there are very few people who have actually achieved this, one is, obviously, David Bowie, the other is Michael Talbot who to my way of thinking should be called Sir Michael Talbot, because he is one of the greats. I would now like to present Sir Michael Talbot who I think is a feature of this next video, by the style council, and it is called Speak like a child.

“Look. Do yself a favour. You must be getting well tired of talking to your girlfriend all the time, right? If you’ve got a wife you’re in even more trouble. Do something interesting for a change. Have something to talk about with your friends. The Tim Pope Video Show! …I’ve done my bit. I’ve got my money. I’m off out.”